Rules of Thought

Please don’t interrupt me
It’s a rule my father taught me
Please don’t interrupt me

I wanted to talk to you about the rules

But I couldn’t remember the whys
They age and fade with each new moment
We can’t trust our memories you know
I wanted to talk to you about what that means for identity

But, wait, first
I wanted to say something about time
About adapting to evolving instants
About forgetting for sake of existing in one single breath
Learning and relearning
And sprinting in spirals to evade hourglass hunger
But the inquiry slipped from my grasp
Why were these dichotomies?

The past, the past
We’re talking about the past
I wanted to tell you about my mother’s mind
In the sunrise hours on her walk to high school
She used to slip into the nearby cinema
Admire the posters and lose herself in the motion
Intentions of destinations
Tumbled out her pores and scurried into space

The past, the past
Stop talking about the past

I was going somewhere
There was something I was going to do
I was going to fold the clothes on my bed
Find a home for them
Finally
But I couldn’t discern which pile needed to be washed
Which needed to be folded
I surrendered to sleep in a heap
Of t-shirts, mismatched socks and wrinkled dresses

I wanted to tell you about my father’s moonrise routine
First lap through the house to bolt the glass doors
Next to place the wicker umbrella basket in front of the main entrance
Last to make sure the locks didn’t unlatch themselves in his absence
No fear of forgetting in repetition

I wanted to discuss repetition
How recognition of a rule
Leads to recitation and memorization
Of what once felt novel
Until story is lost

My own personal clichés:
Indulge in honey
Drink black coffee
Seek stillness
Wander
Wonder
Focus
Wonder
Wander
Forget

I wish I could share with you the stories behind my clichés
But you told me never to stick to the rules
You said something
About false dichotomies
It’s not a switch, it’s a filter
I wish I could remember our journey to our new rule

I wanted to ask you something
But my thoughts were melting too fast
Tumbling out of my pores and scurrying into space

How did the beginning sound?
I’ll just forfeit the floor

I’ve forgotten the rules anyways

Click here for Rules of Thought II

Art by Annamarie Pilon 

 

 

 

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